Be who you want to be
This quote was on my 10 years old wipe board last month. He has started a new trend where he writes a quote of the day. Every night before he goes to bed, he clears his board and writes something new that he finds meaningful or inspirational. We talk about it before bed and where he may have heard it, what it means, or if he just made it up. On this particular quote night, I was out late and missed our nightly ritual. Before bed, I stopped in his room to read his quote. In large blue letters, the words “BE WHO YOU WANT TO BE” were neatly printed. I just stood there with my mouth wide unable to do anything but read that quote over and over again. It was just 5 simple words and yet these words felt so incredibly complicated in my own life. To a ten year old, these words were easy and a great mantra to lead your day. To a grown woman reading this before bed, these words were powerful.
As I stood there frozen, I realized I didn’t even know who I wanted to be anymore. Fear likes to keep me in the dark a lot. When I get glimpses of who I may want to be, doing things that really that light my inner fire, self doubt creeps in. Self doubt berates me with questions and how I can possibly think I am qualified to do any of those things?
After I have pushed fear aside and battled self doubt, I let other people’s opinions tell me who I should be. I listen to colleagues, I listen to friends, even to my own children. They all have a vision of who they want me to be, who they need me to be. It becomes so hard to hear my own voice over all of their ideas and chatter.
So standing there in that dark room with no voices outside of my own, those powerful words in bright blue sharpie ink swimming before my eyes, I did not give myself a chance to think. I just asked myself the question of who did I really want to be?
My heart spoke volumes that night and I could not write fast enough. As I found myself scribbling away, it became clear of who I wanted to be, who I was intended to become.
I want to be be a woman who chooses her own destiny, a woman who stops caring so much what others believe, a woman who follows her heart and knows she is worthy. I want to embrace my inner and outer beauty and practice kindness and self love. I want to be an advocate to other women and not let fear and inadequacies define who I think I am, but stand tall in my own self worth. I want to be a woman who creates change, a woman that inspires others with her words, a woman who could speak truth about her own.
I want to live my life choosing happiness and not letting others choose for me. I want to take up my own space. I want to stop being exhausted by filling everyone else’s cup before I fill my own. I want to be constantly reminded that I am in control of my own life and I will steer my path in any direction I choose.
I want to be an expert in my field, in my message, in my brand, in my life. I want to be someone who makes a difference and doesn’t just talk about it.
As 2019 unfolds, watch me. Watch me become the best version of myself. Watch me step over fear and self doubt and step into me. Watch me even as I fail as I know I will in order to become who I am intended to be.
Being who you want to be may not be easy, but as grown women, we certainly know how to make it complicated. We carry our past, our regrets, insecurities, and all of our self doubt with us as if it was luggage. We drag it around with us each season in life and perhaps we unpack it one day in a brave moment only to repack it the next day when we fail. This is the time to move forward into greater things, into your best version of you. To step into your own power and your own choices every day. To believe in yourself and the simplicity of actually being who you want to be this year.
As the mother of the boy who writes a daily quote to live his best life every day, how can I not show him just how truly simple it is to BE WHO YOU WANT TO BE.